Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Motherhood!

I got this email from my sister in law and thought it was very funny! Seeing how the people that read my blog are mostly mothers I thought I would share!


THE
NEXT SURVIVOR
SERIES

Six married men
will be dropped on an island with one car and

3 kids
each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports

and take either music or
dance classes.

There is no fast food.
Each man must
take care of his 3 kids;

keep his assigned house clean,
correct all homework,

complete science projects,
cook
,

do laundry,

and pay a list of 'pretend' bills
with not enough money.



In addition, each man

will have to budget in money
for groceries each week.



Each man
must remember the birthdays

of all their friends and relatives,
and
send cards out on time--no emailing.


Each man must also take each child

to a doctor's appointment,
a dentist appointment

and a haircut appointment
.

He must make one unscheduled and
inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent
Care..

He must also make cookies or cupcakes

for a social function.


Each man will be responsible for

decorating his own assigned house,

planting flowers outside,
and keeping it

presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television
when the kids are asleep
and all chores are done.



The men must shave their legs,

wear makeup daily
,
adorn
themselves
with jewelry,
wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes
,
keep fingernails polished,

and
eyebrows groomed.


During
one of the six weeks,
the men will have to endure severe

abdominal cramps, back aches,
have extreme, unexplained mood swings

but never once complain or slow down
from other duties.


They must attend weekly school meetings and
church,

and find time at least once to spend

the afternoon at the park or a similar
setting.


They will need to read a book to the kids
each
night and in the morning,
feed them
,

dress them,
brush their teeth
and
comb their hair

by 7:00 am.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks,

and each father will be
required to know all of the following information:
each child's
birthday,
height, weight,
shoe size, clothes size,
doctor's name,
the child's weight at birth,
length, time of birth,
and length of labor,
each child's favorite color,
middle name,
favorite snack,
favorite song,
favorite drink,
favorite toy,
biggest fear,

and what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.


The last man wins only if...
he still
has enough energy
to be intimate with his spouse
at a moment's
notice.

If the last man does win,
he can play the game over and over and over
again for the next 18-25 years,
eventually earning the right
to be called Mother!

4 comments:

Ang said...

Just the kind of laugh I needed tonight. No wonder I end every day feeling like I've run a marathon and will be forced to run it again, and again....

As funny as it was, I must say I was hoping to see a picture of your beautiful new baby. I hear he has a cute nose and looks a lot like Rowdy did.

Good luck with nursing- I hope it goes well for you.

Just wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you.

Can't wait to see him!

Amy said...

The print is a little big, eh?? Funny! Oh, by the way.. Do your boobs hang low?? SOOOOO wish I was there. Need more pics

Shelby and Mike Fenton said...

CONGRATULATIONS on the baby! I'm glad to hear mom and baby are both doing so well! You need to post pictures! I can't wait to see him!
Mmmmkay.... I absolutely LOVED the "Motherhood" story! Made my day! Take care!

The Ballard Family said...

AMEN. I loved that. I am trying to figure out a way for JC to read that without actually having to sit down and read it. Maybe I will just walk around the house, quoting it
"...keeping eyebrows perfectly groomed..."
as I go about my daily stuff.
(Is that even what it says? Something like that...)
Anyway, I gotta say that seeing the empty baby bubble on your sidebar feels eery.
I don't think I spelled that right. But oh well...I love your family! I can't wait to see little Braydon again and/or have Rowdy over to burn off some of his fantastic energy!